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clearly from my last post i am finding myself moving into a new type of political ideology that isn't aligned with any one party, but seeks instead to support and advocate policies that focus on the "least of these", that focus on a consistent ethic of life, and that focus on a mutual respect for all of God's creation.

unfortunately, challenging political beliefs actually has turned out to be the easy part. the more difficult task is challenging my beliefs about the church and it's institutions, doctrine, and rituals. the easy way to "deal with" my new ideologies would be to simply say that this ideology has a place in the political arena, but that church is church and i need to be there and do all that goes into church.

as i tried to do this however, i felt my soul getting restless. i was sitting in sunday school classes of 50 people (48 of whom were 55 and older) discussing the nuances of paradise that we would experience when (not if) we went to heaven. two things bothered me. first, while i believe it is important to be confident of your faith, i find it dangerous to start listing "who gets in" and "who burns". there is a self-righteousness inherent in these discussions that turns me off. as i put myself in my atheist friends shoes, i see an arrogance about these types of conversations. if we are to be sharing the gospel with all people, then certainly we should be conscious of how are words are being perceived, not just how we intended them to be understood. second, i was bothered by the fact that we fat, rich, spoiled americans were sitting around on our butts debating how we would look in heaven, what we would do on the new earth, who we would know, etc....in other words, would heaven be as comfy for us as america is? 5 people die of AIDS every minute...meaning that in that hour long class, 300 people died around the world. it disgusted me that we were so wrapped up in our heavenly retirement plan. when jesus talked about the kingdom of heaven, i believe he was talking about something that is both in heaven and on earth. how do i know this? when he taught us to pray, we learned these words: "they kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven". the key there is "on earth." what are we doing to bring the kingdom to earth? and no, i don't mean "what are we doing to fulfill wild prophecies found in apocalyptic literature so that the rapture will happen sooner". (my thoughts on the book of revelation will come later i'm sure) what i mean is what are we doing to create a church, a faith, that the outcast of society can find safety in? is your church a place where an openly homosexual man or woman can find love? is your church a place that cares more about the radical calling to follow jesus, or is it more focused on providing a nice place for nice people to be nice together for a few hours before leaving in their nice lexus and going home to their nice house? if we are called to share jesus with the people of the world, then we must ask ourselves "what kind of jesus do people see in me?" do they see a jesus caught up in moral "codes", self-preservation, and personal gain? or do they see a jesus who has ALREADY DIED FOR ALL? who died for us while we ALL WERE STILL SINNING? do they see a jesus who loved the world so immensely that he followed his love to death? who took on the weight of the world's sin in a single moment? do they see a jesus who says "come to me child, you are loved" or who says "you are not loved unless you clean up your act"? these are important questions to wrestle with. they are consuming my mind and heart right now, to the point that i can barely sleep. i hope and pray that the jesus i share with people is a jesus who loves them, a jesus who provides a safe place for them, and a jesus who is their advocate.

as i think about these things, i can't help but also wonder what the purpose of church should be. for me, i too often find that church is a big friendly self-help group. we all are trying to improve who we are as christians, so that we can be sure we "get in" at the end. we join in bible studies to understand how we can be better christians, we join small groups to share how we are trying to be better, and we listen to preachers who share with us insights as to how we can be better christians. and yet jesus himself tells us what it is we should be focusing on.

Matthew 25: 31-45

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

jesus plainly states that our final judgement will rest on how we treated the poor, the sick, the outcast, the lost....the least of this world. i have yet to find a church that is truly buying into this theology. i have been reading recently about the emergent church, and how they are seeking to establish a postmodern church that focuses more outwardly (towards the least and lost) and less on self-improvement. i'm hoping to learn more in the coming weeks.

ultimately, i am an individual that cannot ignore my deepest convictions, so kerry and i will be searching for a new place to foster our faith. during our search, we are hoping to do much more volunteering for the sick and poor, to deeply engage with close friends (both christians and non-christians), and to continually wrestle with how our faith is carried out in our lives and in whatever place we call church.

any thoughts? i'm afraid i've written quite a bit once again. thanks for reading though. peace.

please take 3 mins 36 secs and watch this video.